“Everybody is right,” a colleague of me says.
And he’s right. It’s all about perception.
When we get feedback, we often try to defend ourselves or our case.
“It’s true, but…”
“Are you sure, because I heard…”
No matter how hard you’ll try to convince the other, they have made up their mind and formed an opinion based on facts and things they perceive. Their perception.
You know you are right, because you know the facts. Don’t you?
But the other person is right too. He has facts and viewpoints too.
So, what can you do?
Defending is not a solution, because it will probably not convince the other to switch viewpoints and change his opinion.
Show some empathy and try to understand. Try to face the problem (read: opportunity) head on: why are they saying that? What does it mean? How do they view it? … Why am I thinking otherwise?
In case of negative feedback (eg. evaluation talk, customer review, …) the principles above are certainly valid: you won’t be able to convince the other that you are right, but you will get some respect if you try to understand, take their feedback along and do something with it.
In any case, you will learn from it, because since they’re convinced they’re right, there must be some truth in it. Maybe others have the same perception?
Everybody is right.
There’s no gain in “getting your right”.
There’s more to gain from understanding why they think they’re right and what you can learn from and do with it.